Mother (Poetry)

Get up it's time another day of your life, make the bed and say goodbye to a fragment of the cycle, a tired collage of your life. Brush your teeth after you eat, wash away the bags under your eyes, up on your feet you hear the cries. Another sigh between your lips, let go and lose your grip, light exiting through your ribs. Brush away what you can't burry, fingers crossed undo the ties, a strict continuous programing of such a fragile mind, give up and close your eyes, for what's too late you know you tried. A burden so heavy, broken down into repeating portions of a routine. Adaption locking in relief as you’re given your daily dose of peace, as still and steady as you seem, a bottled buried set to rest, on a timer longing to release. 

Pick your poison 

lock your prize 

aim your gun, 

close your eyes 

pull the trigger and say goodbye.

You made your bet, you rolled the dice, what was none but a dream is discovered in your failure, 

the life of a dreamer is so beautiful and nice but a life without practicality is simply an illusion, 

in favor of peace in mind if only you would open your fucking eyes at the chaos and destruction left from every shrug you’d give my way and every time you walked away.

If you'd just wake the fuck up to see whats right in front of you, then you would know I wasn't the one who lied to you yet every time I’d confide in you for terrible things i was brought up to, 

there you were leaning over on the one who corrupted you. 

Like a puppet connected through thread and string, I knew the cost of freedom, to rid from the restraints, you were a part of the bargain I was glad to pay. I know you wanted it to work so bad you would listen to whatever he would say, you would trade the entire world even your kids just for him to stay, you were nothing but a tool for him to use in order to get his way, 

and in the end that's why you did not believe me. You refused to see the truth you picked pretty daisies and tempting lies. I would lock the door every night, just in case I would whisper as I lay.

inheriting your perfect pretty lies,  I promised a thousand times I would never be like you, but it turned out I did just not in the way I thought It meant to. Every time you see me smile I am reacting to my script, I built it perfectly, 

if you could just see it I bet you’d be proud, not a word I heard very often from you but with this I know it's exactly that you would do if you could. 

Genetically we could've been the ones to share pretty brown hair and crystal blue eyes, but with the hand I've been dealt I'm really not that all surprised, with all we could've been throughout the years that dreadfully go by, 

out of it all we have to catch us is a net of comforting perfect lies. I know the smile you would have if you could see how close we were, the sheer irony of an inevitable design

of course we know I didn't mean that in distance or attachment, it's in the elegance in grace of our corrupted deluded rose colored minds.